


Chase Away the Pain Until You're All Grown Up

by I_stole_a_cannon



Series: Jedi's Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, lost Padawan is accidentally found, the council is bad about abandoning children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 11:17:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21207659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_stole_a_cannon/pseuds/I_stole_a_cannon
Summary: A lost Jedi found but didn't want to be.OR: the Council loses more children than it thinks it does.





	Chase Away the Pain Until You're All Grown Up

**Author's Note:**

> yeah yeah I know, I've been gone forever, you counted. But! it just took my muse a hot minute to figure out what it wanted to tackle next. good news is after this I already have two more ideas I'm ready to run with.

Kilivy San had never understood the term “tear your hair out” and least of which was because she didn’t have hair. As a former Jedi padawan, she was supposed to be serene at all times, even while fighting. She’s be the first to admit to becoming harsher in her “exile”, but she had never reached that frustration point.

That was of course until a cruiser came into the airspace of the planet she’d been hiding out on.

At first, she hadn’t recognized it. That was no surprise she had picked this planet specifically because it was isolated and so she didn’t have to worry about galactic politics. The droids poured out and then there were commanders stating that the planet was now under occupation of the Separatists, whoever the hell they were.

That had been two weeks ago.

Since then her life as a “unofficial formerly official force user” had gotten a hell of a lot harder as she hid from droids who kept threatening to kill any Jedi they found and she wasn’t going to have time to correct them that she wasn’t a Jedi anymore, found herself carrying her lightsaber on her more often, and seeming to strike up conversations with rebel factions. All of this, of course, led to the continuing thoughts of tearing hair out if she had any. But since tearing out her lekkus would certainly be more harm than it was worth, she decided to just keep surviving and pushing. This was as close as she’d gotten to her old line of work. She almost missed it.

Then she got reminded why she had left it.

One of the rebel factions she had accidentally fallen in with told her that a Republic ship had landed on the very edge of the city and that she and two other factions were to sneak out of the city and figure out what or who was on board. So that’s where she found herself, hiding in a bush watching soldiers stream out of the ship with a Togruta commanding them. Kilivy waited to get a better look at the commander, they seemed familiar. She scurried from her position into a different, closer bush. One of her companions tried to call her out, but Kilivy was gone. She got close and spotted the commander.

“Remember, the name of the game is silence, we can’t tip off the Separatists that we’re here.” The commander said. Kilivy grinned, she  _ knew it. _

“Commander!” A soldier yelled holding up her two companions.  _ Shit. _ They were fucked. Kilivy intervened, she had to.

“Who are they?” 

“Locals.” Kilivy cut in standing up. She came out of the bush and strode into the space. “They’re part of one of the local rebel factions. As am I.” She said. The commander, Ahsoka Tano, turned to her and seemed to be in stunned silence. That was fair. The temple was led to believe that the youngling, who was now the age of a knight, known as Kilivy San was dead. 

“Kili?” Ahsoka asked.

“Hey ya Tano.” She said a grin. “Don’t harm them, but they can help with your operation.” She added. The soldiers nod and take her companions into the mix. Kilivy looked to Ahsoka and the soldier standing next to her. The soldier’s armor was colored compared to the others and when he took his helmet off, there was something uncanny about him, like something didn’t quite line up. Kilivy crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. “So, you here about the droids?” She asked.

“Yeah that can wait, you’re supposed to be dead.” Ahsoka said. 

“Reports of my death had been greatly exaggerated,” Kilivy replied with a shrug.

“Then why didn’t you come back?” Ahsoka asked. Kilivy softened, Ahsoka almost seemed… hurt? She shrugged again.

“When the Council decides you’re dead, you might as well stay that way. Besides, I needed to get away.” Kilivy settled on. “Speaking of the Council, how are the musty bundle of elderly?” She asked. Ahsoka rolled her eyes.

“Still elderly.”

“Figures, no new blood.” Kilivy looked at Ahsoka for a second, she had gotten older of course since the duo had last seen each other, she was a padawan now if her beads were any sort of tell. Wait, “Tano, who’s your master?” She asked. She ran through potentials in her head, Shaak Ti? Luminara? Mace? God, if she was anything like the youngling she remembered, her and Mace would be an  _ absolute field day _ to watch. 

“You wouldn’t believe it,” Ahsoka said. 

“Try me,”

“Skywalker.” 

“ _ Holy shit _ ,” Kilivy said as she doubled over laughing. Anakin Skywalker? Kenobi’s thorn? The hypothetical Chosen One?  _ He  _ had been put in charge of a  _ child _ ? “How’d Kenobi let that happen?”

“Yoda.” Ahsoka replied. Kilivy calmed down slightly but still kept a shit eating grin on her face.    
“Oh I would’ve killed to sit in on that Council meeting.” She said. The painted soldier came back over and Kilivy shifted her weight. 

“You said you could help.” The soldier said. Kilvy nodded once.

“Generators under the city, easiest way to take the electricity of the city out. They charge 80% of the forces in the night. Could take out the remaining 20% pretty easily.” She said. 

“You haven’t done it yet?” Ahsoka asked.

“Didn’t have the manpower,” Kilivy said. “You brought a legion.”

“You still have your saber?” Ahsoka questioned. Kilivy pulled it off her hip and revealed a green blade.

“As if I’d given it up.” She said with a madman grin. Ahsoka smiled as well. The two of them were almost giddy at getting into the action. 

“How many men?” The soldier asked. Kilivy furrowed her brow. 

“Great question, no idea.” She looked over at the two members of the other rebel factions she’d brought with her. “How many bodies we’ve got?” She asked. 

“Depends, how many do you think you’ll need?” One asked. Kilivy took note that he’d lumped her in with the sudden appeared reinforcements. Which, she wasn’t? Or at least not intentionally. She knew at the very least she wasn’t going to go back with them. 

“Divide in three, I’ll take one, Kili can take one, and Rex you can take one?” Ahsoka proposed. Well, at least Kilivy knew the painted soldier’s name. Rex nodded and Kilivy, who up until this point took a stance of not getting involved in the actual fighting shrugged. 

“Yeah sure, let’s go kick some droid tail.” She said. The trio and the battalion spent the rest of the afternoon planning their strike. They decide they’re going to do it that night, the faster they get it done, the faster the Republic left the system, and the faster Kilivy could go back to her life of non involvement and back to forgetting about galactic politics. They split up as assigned. Kilivy took her handful of troopers and stayed above ground, they were the distraction team while Rex and Ahsoka went underground with the rest of the resistance. Kilivy was standing behind a building looking into the middle of town. 

“You sure about this?” She asked the soldier closest to her. 

“We fight for the Republic.” He said. Kilivy found herself sighing.

“So did I,” she muttered, “and look what that got me.” She leaped onto the nearest building’s roof with a little Force help and found her best streak of attack. She waited for the two droids lined up and jumped, skewering them both and found herself quickly coated in blaster fire. She found herself falling back into her old fighting tactics with ease as she slashed, stabbed, and spun circles around the droids. There was something that was almost  _ fun _ about fighting with a lightsaber as a  _ Jedi _ again. She had almost missed this feeling. As she kept pushing, she was starting to get nervous as to what or who was causing Ahsoka and Rex to take so long, the droids should’ve dropped by now. She looked around and spotted a command droid trying to work.

“Dammit, forgot about them…” she muttered as she made a run for the building. “Hold them off, shouldn’t be too much longer, I’ve gotta go for Command!” She yelled to the nearest clone. He definitely was going to yell something else, but with the grace unexpected out of the former Jedi, she was scaling the building before forcing the window open. The droids opened fire on her and she made quick work of shredding them and destroying all the computers she could. The command droid to call for reinforcements, but Kilivy was quick to dispatch that comm channel as well as the command droid. There was a lull outside and Kilivy poked her head out.

“Did we win?” She shouted.

“Seems so!” One of the soldiers replied. Kilivy jumped from the window and rolled into her landing. She hadn’t done  _ that  _ in a while either.    


“Fantastic, shall we rendezvous with the others as planned?” Kilivy asked. The soldier nodded and the rest fell in. They made the trek back to the outside of the city where they counted their losses and assessed the damages. Kilivy held back even as the other rebel leaders conversed. She watched as the hustle and bustle she had observed before was now going in reverse. Ahsoka excused herself and came over to Kilivy, standing next to her with an air of maturity that hadn’t been there before. 

“Come with me.” Ahsoka said. 

“You know I can’t Tano,”

“Says who?”   


“You think that if the Council thought I was of any value they would’ve come looking for me?”

“That was then,”

“You think the Council’s changed?” Kilivy snapped. She hadn’t meant to, but the fury that had come from being basically abandoned as a  _ child _ that she had repressed reappeared. “They abandoned a  _ child, I was a child _ . Tano.” She stated. “I shouldn’t have been out here at all, I should’ve been home with parents, but I never got that choice did I?” 

“Kili,”

“Don’t. I’m staying dead to them. They’ll leave me alone that way.” She said with a glare directed at the war machine in front of them. “And while we’re at it, why are you here? You should still be at the temple learning from books, not out here leading soldiers.”   


“Master Yoda pushed me forward. Said I’d make a good Padawan.”   


“Tano you’re still a kid, you shouldn’t be on a battlefield. None of us should be.” Kilivy said. She started walking away, if she stayed she would just get angrier with their situation. “Give Skywalker hell for me. Tell him… tell him I’ve still got that pocket sand if he thinks of crossing me.” She said with a slight grin as a gesture of them parting on amicable terms. It was Ahsoka’s turn to double over. She laughed and Kilivy’s grin got bigger. She deserved a good laugh before all of this got a hell of a lot worse.

Kilivy San didn’t tear her lekkus out. But she got pretty damn close.

  
  



End file.
